Rugby boy who bit opponent: Teach forbearance and forgiveness. Don't send wrong signal
I feel compelled to shed some truth on the incident involving an ACS rugby player who was alleged to have bitten his opponent during a scrum. There was no witness in the incident.
The ACS (I) rugby players were made to be seen as bullies and aggressors using rough tactics like kicking and biting to win the match. The truth is, they had already won that match by a huge margin and secured a place in the semi-final.
It doesn't take grey matter to know that no ACS player would do anything foolish to jeopardise his chances of playing in the semi- and final (the two most important matches of his life).
Not unless he was forced into self-defence by an onslaught of head-butting attacks from the opponent (which SJI denies). Such duress can be a mitigating circumstance.
In the same match, some ACS players were also injured. One suffered a 4cm cut on the right upper cheek, another was bitten on the stomach (photos were taken). Are they also not the aggrieved?
Yet, ACS is magnanimous in not pursuing the matter, least of all incriminating their "aggressors". My son's nose was broken in one such match last year and it required an operation. In another match, a finger was fractured while cuts and bruises were par for the course. The list goes on.
But not once did we think of charging anyone. And who is to say that they were just accidents and not deliberate?
The important lesson is to teach our children forbearance, forgiveness and not to be vindictive.
For decades, ACS (I) has been playing against much bigger Secondary 5 boys from many schools and it had never protested. Why are there now so much murmurs about ACS (I) fielding a couple of year-five boys for the first time?
With the much-anticipated final days away, it is very unnerving and demoralising for the ACS team to be subjected to the ordeal of having two of its key players suspended and unwarranted media attention which leaves the public questioning its sportsmanship and integrity.
At this juncture, it is paramount that the players not only be physically fit but also psychologically and emotionally strong.
Let it be known that in ACS, our boys are taught to put honour before glory. An honourable and true sportsman would admit and repent for a mistake whereas a coward and loser denies it.
That, precisely, is what the boy who bit his opponent did. He did not deny anything. He could have, as there were no witnesses.
It is so tempting for a vulnerable teenager to vehemently deny an allegation that has no substantial incriminating evidence and there's a good chance of getting away scot-free.
But it takes courage and humility to admit and apologise. A mistake has been made. Let us extend grace to allow our children to learn the right morals from it.
Or are we sending them the wrong signal: that if you have committed an offence, deny it and you may get away with it. Admit it and the penalty is severe.
Which is easier? This boy went before the panel knowing the consequences, yet he chose integrity above all. The boy is extremely remorseful. He has learnt his lesson at a high cost.
So let's not work at destroying him further by tearing his self-worth. Can our unforgiving society show mercy and compassion to a 15-year-old school boy?
Let those who have never committed a deliberate foul or rough tackle cast the first stone.
Lim Siew Whye (Ms)
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As an officer, the words in bold really do occupy our thoughts constantly. To do the right thing and potentially get abused/punished for it? Or to do the easy thing and get away with it?
Integrity, 可以当饭吃吗?
Thursday, April 06, 2006
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