Instinct

You know the kind of feeling whereby you can just FEEL that what you are doing is right?

The feeling whereby you will just smile while doing something, because you know it's going to turn out great?

I THINK I am blessed with that kind of feeling. Somehow or rather, most of the time I can just feel instinctively whether I am doing the right thing.

Like when Tong Leng clicked VJC for me, I did not kbkb and change it back to HCJC, because somehow instinctively I knew it was the RIGHT choice.

Like when I decided to take Economics in JC (and subsequently Uni). No second thoughts needed even though I knew nuts about Econs before I went JC. And no regrets either.

Like when I decided I wanted to be a staff instead of a PC.

Like when I decided to buy that pair of ADIDAS Clima Cool shoes at half price. When I tried them on, they fit just nice and when I went to the cashier, I KNEW I would love this pair of shoes. And I can't stop wearing them since.

Hmm, perhaps then you might be wondering why TosH screws up so many times then. Why are there so many clothes hanging in your wardrobe that you seldom wear because in the end it turned out to be crap. Why are there a couple of pairs of footwear that you bought even though they did not really fit you? Why are there so many wrong decisions that you had taken?

I have been thinking about it too, and I could only think of this explanation. Because that "Ah Har!" feeling is just too rare, just too scarce. It doesn't come all the time you know. And you start to doubt yourself. Have you lost that instinct? Or if it IS your instinct telling you not to buy, is it because your instinct is now NOT accurate?

I felt that today at Top Man. There was a long sleeve shirt going at $35 bucks which was a pretty good deal. I went to try it, but the sleeves were too long for my shorty hands, but there wasn't any smaller size available.

I was in a dilemma. "It's cheap! Buy it!" "The sleeves are too long! Don't buy!" I started to try to imagine the sleeves were not that long. I started to con myself that the style of the shirt is like that. Just to recapture that happy feeling of buying something that really suits you.

And after a while, I got confused as to which was my "real" instinct. But somehow or rather, I knew that if I had gone to the cashier, I would not have that feeling of satisfaction like when I bought the Adidas shoes. In the interest of my bank account, I decided not to buy. But yet now, I am still thinking whether I should have bought it....

Ok this seems to be a damn shopaholic post but that's not my main point...

http://ickleoriental.livejournal.com/591645.html#cutid1

I have been reading this blog for quite a while, and I feel it's one of the better blogs out there. The author and her husband seems to be a picture perfect couple. Newly married, good looking, and into endurance sports for good measure.

Looking at their wedding photos, you can just feel (and this is just my own feeling, whether it is true or not is none of my business...) that when the Father (is he called the father? or priest?) asks "Do you agree to take XXX as your lawfully wedded wife blah blah blah", they instinctively knew it was the right decision to take.

You just feel that they had that "AH HAR!" feeling.

And this made me think, one day, if (and it's a big if...) I ever have the chance to be in that position, would I have that instinct? The "AH HAR!" feeling that tells me that I should say "I do?"

Or would I be struggling just like today to make a decision? Or worse still, would I make excuses to make myself to say "I do", in the hope that everything would turn out just fine as though I had that "AH HAR!" feeling? You know, buying a shirt that doesn't really suit you, just coz you are scared somebody bought it and you will regret that you chose to follow that silly "AH HAR!" feeling?

I suppose I won't really know until that day comes. But I do pray that when that day comes, I can see myself smiling in a mirror somewhere, knowing that I have made the right decision, that she is THE ONE, and we will grow old together....

Just like my Adidas Clima Cool...