Negative Negative Me

As it is with every major change in TosH's life, TosH tends to get negative and worry excessively unneccessarily.... However, this time the worries seems to be more macro in nature, things that even the most optimistic of persons will concede that he is rather powerless to do anything about....

1. The environment

You know in secondary school Geography we learnt so much about the problems with the weather, climate etc and I was really quite worried. Melting of glaciers, rising sea water level, desertification, floods, droughts etc seemed so worrying then, but somehow nobody seemed to care about them. As I moved onto JC, I stopped taking Geography and somehow or rather, as they say, out of sight and out of mind. I stopped thinking about these issues, after all, the world could not end in my lifetime isn't it?

But all of a sudden, the shit has hit the fan! The buzzwords are now global warming and climate change. What a drastic change, and it seems like we have less than a decade to really save ourselves, dear oh dear... I must admit I have not been the most devoted environmentalist. I mean I do try and recycle most of my waste now that I have a bin outside my place and I do not use the air con in my room to save electricity... but I am guilty of one of the biggest sins - driving around. Even when it seems taking the bus is possible. I am just too lazy and short tempered to take public transport regularly now... In addition, I really love the feeling of freedom when cruising along the TPE at nigt. So even though the thought of giving up my Altis sometimes crosses my mind, I am still pretty unwilling to do so, will Mother Nature forgive me?

2. Singapore

Don't think I feel comfortable enough to talk about everything here on this public place. But I guess the layman will also know that the income gap, elitism etc are problems that will threaten the long term fabric of this country. I know I do not have the answers, so I am not really willing to be those who only complain with no solutions, but is this really the best that we can do? Can't we have our cake (economic progress, clean government, cosmopolitan) and eat it at the same time (equality, cohesiveness, quality of life)?

3. Myself

OK maybe this is something that I am not so powerless but still.... Even at this stage, I am still not sure if I made the right choice. Will I be able to survive the bond? Or would I be sacked for some gross misconduct? Will I be a good mentor? Will I earn enough money to support my parents and my above mentioned Altis? Will I save enough money for my retirement? And at the risk of sounding very very despo here.. Will I ever get married? If yes, where is THE SPECIAL ONE going to come from? Or is it a case of finding someone whom I can live with, rather than someone I can't live without? What do I do if i manage to survive my bond after 6 years? Go out and get more experience? Take risks? Pursue a PhD and try to find ways to eradicate poverty and global warming profitably? Or would I be forced to stay in even if I do a bad job simply because it might pay well or I have too many commitments? Or will I be happy to stay on coz i am doing a good job?

Questions, questions and more questions, and questions to which I have no answers at all.. Is it really the case that I can only take each day as it comes? What does life have in store for me? I really want to know.... but yet I fear I do not have the energy to keep on going...