I can still remember the first time I met you - that feeling of excitement that I did not have for a long time. I still remember making a promise to the one up there that I will not waste the chance if He would help me once more.
I still remember the months that followed. My life was brighter and cheerful with you around. For the first time in a long while, I really enjoyed life. I really did.
I don't know how it all started to go downhill. But it did. Maybe I should have been more subtle. Maybe I shouldn't have fallen for you.
Maybe I would still be able to see you then.
But what's left now is merely emptiness. Fragments of memories of happier days gone by to cling onto.
It hurts every night, when I stop whatever I am doing, and try to fall asleep. All that I can think of is you. Asking myself what did I do wrong. Asking myself where was I not good enough. Asking myself why everything turned out this way.
And I really have no answers.
When you told me you were sick, and it started to rain, all I wanted to do was to drive over and give you a lift, so that you did not have to get yourself wet.
When you were unhappy, I wished for you to be happy, hoping that the card would cheer you up.
Whenever you were rushing for your class, and you had no time to eat, I would try to keep the hunger away with some food.
If you would agree, I would protect you forever.
You were on my mind everyday, every moment.
But it just wasn't good enough, and I guess it would never be.
Is this really the end? Do I have any crumbs of hope and comfort to survive on?
I love you, W. I really do.
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