Dear Santa...

From The Straits Times

Dec 19, 2004
Dad gave him a Ferrari when he turned 21

Some parents are spending lavishly on gifts for their children

By Carolyn Quek

WHEN Darren Teo turned 21 in June this year, his father, 53-year-old businessman David Teo, marked his rite of passage by giving him a key for a spanking new, bright red Ferrari 360 Modena.

And Darren isn't the only one getting lavish gifts from mum and dad. When it comes to their children, more parents these days are sparing no expense.

They are giving them expensive presents or monetary rewards when they hit milestones in their lives such as birthdays and when they do well in their exams.

Some parents say they do so because they love their children, others want to motivate them to study harder.

For Darren, a first-year engineering undergraduate at the National University of Singapore, the $750,000 Ferrari was a surprise gift from dad.

He said of his father: 'He just brought me down to the showroom one day and asked me if I liked the car. I said yes, of course and then he told me that it was actually a birthday gift for me and that he had already ordered it.'

Although he admitted that he is 'pampered' by his parents, the youngest and only son of three children remains down-to-earth and wants to work hard so that he can buy a car of his own in the future.

'I guess I want to earn my own Ferrari, I want to earn my own car,' he said. After he graduates, he plans to work for a few years before helping out with his father's food manufacturing business.

'I think the satisfaction you get from getting the car from your parents is very different from earning one yourself.'

Lionel Kong, 20, got a bright yellow Mini Cooper that cost about $96,000 from his father, Mr Kong Eng Teck, 5O, a businessman. It was a trade-off for staying in Singapore for his university education instead of furthering his studies abroad.

Said Lionel: 'Although I wanted to go to the US to study, my father wanted me to stay here to do my basic degree first, and spend more time with my grandparents, who are getting old. But when I further my studies in the future, I can go abroad.'

The elder of two sons is now a full-time national serviceman, and his father insists that he pays for his own petrol and car parking fees.

This is a win-win situation, said Mr Kong, 50, who is in the IT services industry, and a fan of the Mini Cooper.

'I'm not only teaching him about being responsible by taking ownership over his car - it was also an excuse for me to get it,' he said with a laugh. He drives the car occasionally.

On a smaller scale, Victoria Tan, 19, got $1,000 after getting her A level results this March, for scoring an A for geography, B for English literature and B for theatre studies and drama.

This was a deal that her dad, Mr Tan Chek Sian, had made with her before the exams. She would get $400 for every A she scored, and $300 for every B.

Now a law undergraduate at the University of Nottingham, she said the deal was an incentive for her to study harder. She also said she has been getting monetary awards for doing well in exams since she was young.

Mr Tan, an external affairs consultant with Shell Singapore, said: 'An incentive is a strong motivation that encourages people to do better.'

He plans to continue giving them to Victoria for her university examinations. He also expects her to spend the money wisely.

Ms Evelyn Khong, a family life educator at Fei Yue Counselling Services, thinks that parents giving expensive gifts to their children is not an issue, if they can afford it.

But she said: 'What message is that child receiving? What is the parent trying to tell the child in this simple, yet powerful act of giving?'

She said that some parents may go overboard in compensating their kids with expensive gifts because they feel guilty about spending little or no time with their kids, and having no personal involvement in their kids' lives.

'True giving has nothing to do with the size and the cost. The material things will eventually be gone, but the memory of being loved and accepted for who they are and who they are not will always remain in the heart of the child,' she said.

And that is why Madam Su Wan Ru takes the practical view when rewarding her daughter.

When her daughter Zeng Jing- yin, 12, scored 283 in this year's PSLE exams, the second highest in all of Singapore, she took her to Kinokuniya book store, where they spent about $300 on books.

Madam Su, 39, a housewife, says she does not believe in giving Jingyin money when she does well: 'I tell her that she studies for a good life and a bright future next time. If she studies for the reward, what will happen when there is no reward?'

And then there's Mrs Anna Lin, whose daughter Nicole, 13, from Xinmin Secondary, topped the Normal Academic stream in her school this year. The only reward Nicole got was a little extra pocket money.

Said the bank administrative officer: 'I guess some parents do so because they can afford it and it does motivate the kid. But it's generally not a good virtue, it's like a bribe and may encourage the child to become materialistic.'

God damn it....how is it possible? A god damn Ferrari for your 21st birthday present? Imagine all the babes you will be able to pull with that lean, mean red machine! Oh well, even if I had a Ferrari babes will not come to me. There will always be a fitter hunk WITH a Ferrari.

Not that I want my parents to buy me lavish gifts anyway. I already feel bad enough for living off my parents when I am in Singapore, so to have them buy me stuff is even worse (see what a sensible guy I am? :P). But of course that is not to say I am going to push that red Ferrari, silver Mercedes or white Lancer Evolution away if one is presented to me (just don't mention the lack of driving licence god damn it!). But I am certainly not jealous, if I want to hook chicks with wheels, I want to make god damn sure its my OWN wheels, not from my dad's pockets.

So what is my purpose in pasting this article? It's the following line:

Madam Su, 39, a housewife, says she does not believe in giving Jingyin money when she does well: 'I tell her that she studies for a good life and a bright future next time. If she studies for the reward, what will happen when there is no reward?'

At first glance, "wah!", imparting correct values eh? But then if you look at the statement closely, its a contradiction. Isn't studying for a good life and a bright future next time a reward in itself? And not the true meaning of education? Going by the Madam's own statement, what would happen if her daughter DID NOT have a good future next time even if she had a decent education? Classic LPPL.

So face it, studying to earn a fatter pay cheque 10 years down the road is a reward in itself, not the true meaning of education. Nobody actually cares if you say you study because you want higher pay, much less condemn you. So please don't make people cringe by making supposedly noble statements, only for the statement to stink of mud.

As for the title of this post,

Dear Santa,
I wish for the computers at the Ticketing Office at Man United to be my good friends. Thank you.