Holidays, or is it?

Damn it, second entry in a day, I must be getting damn bored.

First of all, I am a very LPPL person. Give me good results and I will say it means nothing (and I DO mean it). But lower my marks and I will get all jittery and nervous. Throw too many tickets my way and I will complain about the travelling. Send me rejection emails and I will get pissed off again. So it is perhaps no surprise that sometimes holidays make me sad, after complaining early last week that I CAN'T wait for the holidays to come.

There's just something about holidays and end of terms that makes me extremely extremely nostalgic. The feeling was sparked off last week when I downloaded a lot of old Emil Chow (Zhou Hua Jian) songs. Some of the songs which I downloaded:

1. Ai Xiang Sui
2. Feng Yu Wu Zu
3. Hai Kuo Tian Kong
4. Hua Xin
5. Qi Shi Bu Xiang Zou
6. Wo Shi Zhen De Fu Chu Wo De Ai

Some of these songs are really old, and they reminded me of the days when I finished my PSLE in Poi Ching. I remember we had no lessons for about 1 month, but still had to go to school. And we had some really enjoyable times playing those "caps" where you had a striker to flip the caps over. We read comics. And one of the other things we did was to listen to Emil Chow songs. I forgot whether we had any mini KTVs or not. Any of you Poi Ching people remember? And when the December holidays came, the results came out, and we were all off to new secondary schools.

Then it was the end of the O levels, but this wasn't that bad, because I knew that most of us, or at least the people I really treasured were all going to be at VJC, so I was going to see them in school one way or another. Some things would change, but going to the same school would make things seem that bit easier.

Then it was the end of A levels. That was very sad. It would spell the end of the days whereby you can see your friends everyday in school. No effort was needed during term time, everybody just went to the same place everyday and catching up was easy (if there was anything to catch up on in the first place that is). Everybody's schedule was more or less similar too, and planning outings was so much simpler. However, with the end of the A levels, everybody had different schedules. Guys went to NS (with the associated weekend duties and confinements) and girls went to unis and gave tuitions on weekends. Time became a valuable commodity.

One thing that I really did not like for the past 4 years had been the constant change of environment that I had to face. 2 years of JC life were gone in a flash. Then it was 3 months in BMT, then another 5 months in OCS. Then the constant jetting between Singapore and UK and the constant moving of places where I called home for the last 2 years. Even the changing of terms brought entirely new timetables and I had to readjust my pattern. Some people are always on the move, others find it difficult to adjust to new surroundings, I believe I belong in the latter category. I take a significant period of time before I can get rid of the nostalgic feeling and the irritability which comes with moving/going to a new place every few months. And this situation would not change for the foreseeable (or is it spelled forseeable?) 8 years (changing of NS posting, teaching postings etc). Perhaps I should really get rid of this melancholy streak in me.

There are too many things that I have let go and missed. There are too many things that I HAD TO let go but still miss nonetheless. But what is worst is that

there will continue to be things that I have to let go against my wishes....

I miss....