Tu Xi Gan (Hokkien for wasting time)

I never cease to be amazed at the limitless potential of Mankind. Allow me to explain.

I had never been a procrastinator. My work had always been done way in advance, often pretty much right after the lecturer had taught the relevant material, sometimes even faster than that if I had learned the stuff in JC before. I never believed in last minute work, didn't want to give myself stress. In a perverse kind of way, its fun to watch others struggle to meet deadlines while I am able to idle my time away because I had finished my work. Kind of like watching ants and centipedes drowning in water. They take an awfully long time to die, and you always had the option of lifting them out and they would crawl away immediately like nothing had ever happened. This is kind of like I can enjoy watching other people struggle against the deadline, yet act hao ren by lending them my homework (lifting them out of the water) and after a while everything would be fine. But I digress.

All that changed this academic year. I am now a full-time member of the Procrastination Society. This had its roots during my summer attachment at Bendemeer. I only finished my project presentation 5am on the morning I was supposed to hand in the thing. (And only had 30 minutes of sleep before going to school). Same thing for my MOE report, only finished it the morning before I was going to hand it to Selina. Suddenly, I found that I could procrastinate, and perhaps more importantly, I could get away with it.

The significance of this realisation cannot be underestimated. I have to say that almost 90% of my work this term had been last minute. So much so that I don't even know that my low marks this term (60s most of the time...fucking hell, why the bloody 70 is so hard to get nowadays) are a result of my last minute work, or an increase in difficulty in the material, or my lack on interest in studies or watching excessive number of matches in November. And more worryingly, I find that I don't really care now. They are just tutorials and do not count towards the final mark. Its a bad bad attitude to have. I have always been an advocate of consistent work. But gradually I find myself unable to keep up with this ethic. I hope I am not punished in May 2005 :S

So what is there to be amazed at? The possibility of producing something whenever the deadline looms closer and closer that is. I have a wonderful example today. For a huge part of the last 3 or 4 weeks, I am supposed to be working on this presentation on one of my courses (about Europe, the interesting but a lot of work one). I have to read, underline, highlight, understand, structure it, then do my presentation on Powerpoint blah blah. However, a combination of coursework, matches and procrastination meant that I had not got beyond the reading and underline stage as of last weekend. Throughout the weekend, with the meeting for the presentation discussion looming near, I could only finish typing the notes of my presentation. The tangible sign that I had done my work (the Powerpoint slides) were nowhere to be seen. I had not even opened Powerpoint, let alone done the slides. I simply procrastinated. But amazingly, during the 1.5 hours of meeting with my group members, I finished the damn slides. All 22 slides. (Ok granted I still need to actually REDUCE the number of slides and also read a book which one of my members had passed to me but....) And I wondered to myself what is so damn bloody difficult about creating those slides. I am telling you, there is just something mystical about the power of deadlines that increase your productivity by quantum amounts such that you can finish your work.

Procrastination appears in every facet of our lives. Taking the amount of time you have with someone for granted is also a form of procrastination. How many times have we (ok only me actually...) been too "busy" to meet up with someone, thinking that there were other opportunities, only to suddenly find that the time we have is actually limited. And then we realise it and frantically start making up for lost time? TV dramas always show the rebellious son realising the error of his ways (and vice versa) when the father/mother is about to die. Perhaps not so drama mama, but you get my idea. I am always guilty of that kind of procrastination. And unfortunately there is nothing to be proud of for this kind of "increased productivity". Unlike schoolwork, this is much much more important. Lost time with family, close friends are forever, not like coursework when you can hand in slipshod work or ask for time extension and hand in late.

I just hope the deadlines for those sort of "work" are not anytime soon....and that I still have a chance to hand in my "work".....

(Damn what is it with me and Scottish stuff? I just can't resist Scottish shortbread....)