Sometimes my longwinded-ness amazes me

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am proud to announce that TosH had just broken the Guinness Book of Records for the world's longest complaint letter. *applause* And now all of you lucky ones out there have the chance to review this history making feat! Enjoy.

Dear Ms Smith,

My name is Shihua Toh and I am the owner of the IBM Thinkpad T23 in the call reference B19FCRZ. The reference for the previous repair job is B19F4RV. Since time is very tight for me, with Easter being next week, I believe it is important to let you know the whole chain of events so that you may assist me in whatever way you can.

My laptop broke down on Sun 13th Feb and I called technical support the next day on Mon 14th Feb. I was told that I would have to bring my laptop down to the DHL Depot at Stratford, London in order for my laptop to be delivered to the service centre. When I queried how long the repiar would take, the person who answered said it would usually be within 4 working days. Since Tuesday is a busy day for me, I brought my laptop to the depot on morning of 15th Feb. I then waited patiently for 4 working days and by late afternoon on Mon 21st Feb, I had not heard anything from IBM yet. I then decided to call up technical support again and was directed to your department. I was told that the machine only reached the service centre in Brentford that morning (21st Feb, which I later learnt was a lie or a mistake), which would have meant that DHL took 4 working days to deliver my laptop. It was never told to me by technical support that it would take this long for DHL to do the delivery. Believing this was the truth, I requested for the repair job to be completed quickly since I had already waited for 6 days in total.

On 22nd Feb, I checked back and was told that I would have to wait another 4 working days (starting from 21st Feb) and I should check back on Thur 24th Feb. I patiently waited but yet again there was no information from the service centre by late afternoon on 24th Feb. I called your department once again and requested for the person who answered the phone to email the service centre and ask why the repair is taking so long and to request the engineers to call me back immediately.

However, by Fri 25th Feb, I still had not received any call and thus called your department once again. I was told no such email had been sent as reflected on the system. As such I am left to wonder did your subordinate lie to me? Later that day, I phoned back and was told that the motherboard needed replacing and the repair was billable. Needless to say I was shocked. I knew my machine was under warranty but had not been able to provide the serial number because the sticker underneath the machine had faded. I was told that the engineers would be able to get the serial number from the machine and thus I thought I did not need to worry on that front.

Thus, I called up your department late night on 25th Feb to give my serial number. I had previously been told that it was missing 2 numbers by another department but I had no choice at this juncture. However, it turned out to be sufficient and I was told to await a call on Monday by the warranty department.

As you can expect by now, I received no such call. At this moment I have several complaints to make. First of all, why did it take the engineers a total of FIVE working days just to inspect the machine and determine the problem? Why wasn't there an effort to contact me after the 4th working day to tell me about anythign which might cause a delay to set my mind at ease? Am I supposed to wait 1 week, 1 month or 1 year for a reply? As far as I am concerned at that point in time, my laptop had not been touched and it might have been forgotten totally. And why wasn't there any effort to contact me after the inspection especially when it was billable at that moment? Why am I expected to phone up your department to find out what is wrong? Why wasn't there any effort to contact me to tell me that the engineers can't get my serial number because the motherboard was spoilt? (I only found this out through a friend) Why didn't the warranty department make the mentioned call to me?

Thus, I called your department on Mon 28th Feb and was told that the warranty had been verified and REPAIR CAN GO AHEAD and the 4 working days time period would start from this date. Fair enough. And so I waited but yet again, I did not receive any information whatsoever by Thu 3rd Mar. Yet again, the service centre was not forthcoming with information and the serial number was brought up to try to explain away the delay. However, this was an unacceptable excuse as it was clearly told to me that by 28th Feb, the warranty had been verified and repairs can go ahead.

I phoned again on 4th Mar (5th working day from 28th Feb) and again there was no news and I requested Jim, who answered my call to send an email. I was away from London from 7th Mar to 9th Mar and thus passed my phone to my friend to take down any messages from your company. My friend answered a call on Tue 8th Mar and was told by Gillian from your department that the part for my laptop would arrive on Wed 9th Mar or latest Thu 10th Mar. I was told to expect a call on Sat 12 Mar to tell me the delivery date. Upon hearing this piece of relative good news, I phoned your department on Thu 10th Mar and was told that the part had arrived which was great. However, the problem was that the next day Fri 11 Mar when I checked back to see if the repair had been completed, I was told the part is estimated to arrive on that day (11 Mar). Was I told a lie the previous day? Or was that another part? Why did the service centre take one day to order each part? Especially when 10 Mar was the 9th working day from 28th Feb? Unable to accept this information, I asked Mr Joost Heijgelaar to contact the service centre. He was very helpful in forwarding the relevant email to you as well as me. However, upon reading the email, I soon discovered that my machine had actually reached the service centre on 17th Feb (1 day after I brought it to the DHL depot) and not 21st Feb as I was told. My patience in waiting for 4 working days before phoning up your department was rewarded with a lie to extend the period to the engineers. The engineers had actually took SEVEN working days just to inspect my machine. Needless to say, I lost all trust in your subordinates and the engineers after that.

On Mon 14 Mar, I finally received a call from the engineers saying the machine had been repaired and it passed ALL tests and it would be delivered to me the next day. I was glad to hear that and my machine duly arrived the next day Tue 15th Mar.

Unfortunately, the repair job was a sloppy one. My laptop kept shutting down by itself. This was the last thing that I need. After waiting for one month (16th Feb to 15th Mar) for my laptop to get back to me, I certainly did not expect the repair job to be a shoddy one. I phoned your department on the night of 15th Mar and was given the reference number B19FCRZ. A technical support personnel phoned me the next morning (Wed 16 Mar) and he admitted that he did not understand why the engineers did not replace the CMOS (after I described my problem and the displayed error messages to him) when it had been clearly stated that my machine had passed ALL tests. I was told to bring my laptop to the depot again and I did so immediately yesterday (16th Mar). The only information I have up till now is that my machine had reached the service centre. Obviously it is not acceptable for me to have to wait the stipulated 4 working days as I have already suffered so much delays (from 16th Feb) and I requested Mr Gavin Munro to email the service centre to put this call as an urgent call and to forward a copy of the mail to you.

After relating the chain of events to you, I hope you can understand my frustration at the lack of forthcoming information from the relevant departments and the length of time it is taking to repair my machine. Easter is next week and my university term ends on next Wed and I might be away from London. I really do not wish to have to call back to your department everyday during my holidays or worse still, cancel my appointments and plans just to wait for my laptop to be delivered back to me. My laptop is really important to me. I have to complete the personal essay for the application form for my Masters studies sponsorship which I hope you understand is very valuable and vital to me. I also have to revise my work for my exams, some of which are on my laptop. Though I have backed them up with my friend, there is no way I can access it until I get my laptop back and transfer the files back into it.

I believe I have been very patient in waiting out the stipulated 4 working days time and again but the latest incident is clearly unacceptable and I cannot afford to wait for 4 working days as next week is Easter and I terribly need my laptop back before next Wed. As such, besides asking Mr Munro to email, I have also taken the liberty to email you directly to request you to help me speed up this repair job in whatever way you can. As the manager, I believe you would have a way to contact the service centre directly rather than through email (or perhaps your superior would). Please assist in whatever way you can to make sure the repair this time (I believe it is a very simple job this time) is completed immediately and also fully to make sure there are no more problems thereafter. I thank you in advance for whatever assistance you may be able to lend me and I hope you would understand that I am truly frustrated and desperate to have to contact you directly.

Thank you very much for your time and attention.

Best regards,
Shihua

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And this is not the end. Ms Ann Smith helped me to log a complaint with the customer relations department the following day. And they promptly assigned a guy to follow my case and he promised me my laptop will be back by Wednesday. I should have followed Yang'en's advice 100 years ago and asked for the manager right away. Would have saved me so much time. Maybe I really am too nice a person, always hoping they can sort out their own incompetency. But obviously this does not happen in UK. The contrast is striking....

On Monday I received my laptop back, TWO days earlier than expected. But when I switched it on, I saw.....

Loading Windows 2000.....

FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!! I even took the trouble to write Windows XP Pro on the box and it was also on a sticket underneath the laptop, how can they screw it up again? And so I called the guy and he helped me to order a Windows XP recovery CD and luckily it arrived on Wednesday and for now my little TosH is working fine... Long may it continue *prays*