Stratford --> Brentford = Longest distance in the world

Yet another day, yet another call to IBM, yet another negative response.

Ang moh accent: Yeah, I remember now, I spoke to you yesterday isn't it?
Me: Yup
Ang moh accent: Let me just check it for you. *pause* It's still at our depot, sorry I meant service centre at the moment. It's still waiting to be picked up by an engineer.

-HELLO?!?! Didn't you say somebody was already looking at it yesterday?!?!?!?! WTF?-

Ang moh accent: It's in our service centre in Brentford

Do you guys know what this means? It means that DHL actually took THREE working days to transport my laptop from Stratford in east London to Brentford in west London. Dont believe me?

To see where Stratford is, click here
To see where Brentford is, click here (if you click the arrow on the right side you will see Stratford eventually)

*Can we have a big round of applause please for DHL?*

I mean seriously wtf? Why did the stupid Indian (yes its another argument AGAINST outsourcing) tell me to bring it to Stratford in the east when all DHL does is to take THREE BLOODY WORKING DAYS (remember my emotions don't fucking switch off during Sat and Sun and so that's FIVE DAYS in total) to transport it across London to Brentford in the west? I can go up to Manchester and back again IN ONE FUCKING DAY.

BECAUSE INDIANS LIVING HALFWAY AROUND THE GLOBE DON'T FUCKING KNOW THAT THE SERVICE CENTRE IS IN BRENTFORD AND THEIR SUGGESTIONS ARE WASTING PRECIOUS TIME!

I can just imagine my T23 shivering in the cold, snowy weather in Brentford, separated from its loving master and its warm home in John Dodgson House, and crying out for its master to take him home.

Ang moh accent: If you don't hear from us by Tuesday...oh wait today IS Tuesday, sorry I meant if you do not hear from us by Thursday, give us a ring and we will chase it for you.

-Thanks, so the 4 working days wait actually starts from the day it lands in Brentford, which wasn't told to me by the stupid Indian accent-

Ang moh accent: (after I had asked him)After the 4 days and it had been repaired, it will normally take about 1 working day before we deliver it to you.

Great, which basically means I am looking at Friday, or more realistically next Monday or Tuesday before I get my laptop back - IF they do look at it before Thursday.

By that time, either I had killed someone, or I had killed myself in frustration. But before that, let's all pray that the DHL workers all have their laptops or computers break down and let them see the effect of their inefficient actions.